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Interpersonal emotional regulation: what it is, what are its benefits and how to apply it

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When a situation gets difficult, we are likely to turn to those close to us on how to manage both the situation and the emotions it causes. Accordingly, when someone close to us faces difficulties, they are likely to turn to us for the same reasons. 

Interpersonal emotional regulation is a process we engage in every day, sometimes consciously and sometimes not. This process includes

  • Intrinsic emotion regulation (turning to others for help in regulating our own emotions) and
  • Extrinsic emotion regulation (helping others regulate their emotions) 

Both processes have positive effects on our mental well-being: 

  • improving the quality of the relationships we have already established
  • strengthening and facilitating the creation of new relationships
  • strengthening the sense of competence and effectiveness
  • reducing psychological distress when we have to manage difficulties 

An important parameter remains the choice of the appropriate emotional regulation strategy, both for ourselves and for others. That is, the one that will help to relieve and regulate emotions, without burdening the person who is the recipient of the emotions and is trying to help. 

For example, sometimes it helps to use humor, to laugh (or make the other person laugh) at the difficult situation. Sometimes distraction is helpful, while other times it helps to reassess so that you (or the other person) can see the situation from a different, less distressing perspective. Finally, what is often needed is to listen with genuine interest (or share honestly) what is troubling you or the other person, without trying to find a solution immediately. 

Find ways to manage emotions, both yours and others, in the following video: https://youtu.be/tEzpiM3pV5k 


PSYCHOLOGY - TODAY Team

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