Jealousy is a complex emotion that involves feelings such as suspicion, fear, rage, anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness or disgust.
The narrative can originate from experienced facts, thoughts, perceptions, memories, and also imagination, guess and assumptions. People of all ages, genders, and sexual orientation can feel jealous usually when they perceive a threat to a valued relationship from a third party. The threat may be real or imagined.
Jealousy is not limited to romantic relationships; it can arise between siblings competing for parental love, colleagues, friends etc. Jealousy differs from envy, as jealousy always implies the presence of a third person. Envy arises between two people and can be better described as "I want what you have". Although jealousy is a painful emotional experience, evolutionary psychologists do not see it as a feeling that must be suppressed, but as a wake-up call that an important relationship is in danger and steps must be taken to secure the love of our friend or partner.
But what is the underlying reason that motivates jealous responses? Several traits such as low self-esteem, neuroticism, insecurity, possessiveness, dependency and an anxious attachment style have been linked to greater jealousy:
Bringle and his colleagues have claimed that communicative responses, if expressed properly, can lead to more satisfying relationships by reducing uncertainty, maintaining or repairing relationship, and restoring self-esteem.
Not all responses however can be constructive; Jealousy is a complicated reaction that can create major relationship problems. Guerrero and colleagues have proposed that general behavior responses differ in whether they are directed at a partner or a rival, at
What we need is to manage better the expression of jealousy and the behavior resulting from it. In a nutshell, jealousy is considered a legitimate feeling like everything, but only when it does not drift us into extreme behaviors. While it can work protectively for one important relationship, it can also work destructively, if we exaggerate its expression.
If you are feeling jealous you should avoid situations that are likely to arouse false suspicions, work on building confidence in yourself and your relationship and communicate your feelings with your partner.