Boundaries save us, limits kill us!
Personal boundaries exist to protect the most important parts of our lives. They are created to illustrate to others what we consider acceptable and unacceptable behaviors.
Just as a fence protects our real estate, our personal boundaries protect ourselves. In both our personal and professional life, the lack of boundaries puts a toll on our mental balance and our personal and professional growth. Some ways to set boundaries that are important to you are the following:
- Be clear about the boundaries you set for yourself and others. Make sure you have defined to both yourself and others what is acceptable and what not.
- Once someone violates your limit, you can remind them and ask for their help to protect it.
- If the person still violates the limit, ask them decidedly but kindly to stop the behavior. If the behavior continues, consider what further action is appropriate to be taken in order to stop the behavior while respecting the other person.
- Consider possible alternatives that may exist in not being in environments that minimize the chances for someone to break your boundaries.
- Thank the people around you who honor your boundaries and respond to your request.
- Identify the consequences of violating or ignoring your boundaries.
- Identify the dysfunctional thoughts and beliefs that lead you to allow violations of your boundaries.
- Develop new, more rational, efficient thoughts and beliefs which will help you change your behaviors so that you can build healthy boundaries.
- Identify new behaviors which you need to add to your actions to develop healthy boundaries.
- Apply these behaviors to your everyday life, so that your personal space, privacy and rights are not ignored or infringed by anyone.
- Always try to understand and honor others' boundaries.