Anger makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
Anger can lead you to actions and behaviors which distance you from your desired goal and perhaps ultimately make you feel guilty. If you think that it is impossible for you to hold back an angry explosion, the following tactics may be helpful to you.
- Exercise is a good form of venting off, in general. Even if you do not have a lot of time at your disposal, a quick walk is enough, as exercise increases hormones that calm and relax us.
- Take your time. If you feel that you cannot manage your anger, move away from the stimulus that triggers you. For example, in order to avoid a violent outburst in an argument, ask your interlocutor for some time, move away and return to the conversation after a few minutes. This tactic can work alone or in combination with the next one suggested.
- Count to 10. This technique is suitable for both youngsters and adults. Count slowly up to 10, taking breaths at the same time. If necessary, keep counting until 20.
- Avoid using expressions such as "never", "always" as well as generalizations. Focus on what is happening at the moment and express your anger in words, communicating your own, deeper emotions. For example, you can say I feel upset you left the table without picking up your plate” instead of “You never do anything in here, you're always expecting everything from me”.
- Next time you recognize indications that lead to an angry outburst, remember to practice the above tactics and then adopt those that work best for you.