Initially, remember and write down at a piece of paper three recent conflicts you were involved in within the last week.
Then separate a sheet of paper into 4 columns
- Conflict issue
- People involved
- What happened
- Fire word
Feel in the columns based on your three recent events
For example
- Conflict issue housework
- People involved me and my partner
- What happened my partner accused me of not helping out by saying " you never help me out. I do everything by myself!"
- Fire word never, everything
Now consider if what was said could be expressed in different words - either on your side or your partner's side, by replacing the fire words that spiked the conflict. Note down the different ways you could express yourself in similar situations next time you are in the conflict think of your notes.